Ode to YOU

I loved real hard once, but the Love wasn’t returned
Found out the Man I’d die for, wasn’t even concerned
What you want might make you cry
What you need may pass you by
Lauryn Hill’s Record repeats, repeats in my mind
Repeats, repeats while I try to find…what choice to make?
So hear I am, confused and misdirected in this dilemma
With 3 boiling voices that needs to immediately simmer
3 voices I’m left to bear, three voices are all I hear
The voice of the world, your voice and mine, three voices I need to leave behind
Their tones are Judgmental, Possibly Genuine, and Filled with Fear
I’m not often in this situation, so my decision will be rare
And made wisely, thoroughly thought through with deliberate care

The voice of the world, is prejudice
The love that you want just shouldn’t exist
It has many assumptions; it doesn’t know what’s real
Just confusing my heart on what to feel
Manipulating then devouring my already dilapidated psyche
Contributing ambitiously to the yes and no from me
i'm going insain...i can feel each nerve as it pinches my brain
i'm sweating profusely why did you have to come forward to me

The realist perspective on a relationship
To me it may be a dream even with the shit I’d put up with
But from the outside you’re able to see the flaws
When it storms it’s not a drizzle the rain really pours

You SAID:

Trust comes with time…if that’s what you’re worried about

Just give in to me…be hopeful…release your doubt.

All this in between your cute little sighs
And I’m thinking, are the water from your lips filled with sweet lies
I hope not because I need to quench my thirst…
Need a kiss without venomous lies from a tongue that won’t curse
So many things attract me to you…
I’m willing to go through all the overbearing shit you do
I’ve already invested so much time and will much more
I don’t want another girl…baby I’m sure
Sigh…that’s your voice…that claims to be genuine
More confusion, I’m indecisive although I want to give in
Kris this is not a game; neither you nor he can win
But boy… loving you might be my greatest sin
Because I feel in the end there will be inevitably hurt
I’m afraid of it but I don’t know which is worst
This undying Fear or my death to Love
Going head first with out a glove
I don’t want to die
But I want you to know that I want you… no lie
That’s just the chance I’d have to take
Still contemplating the choice to make
Because although I don’t want to Die your Love Might Just Kill Me
I should jus sedate myself, let your love kill or build me
Here comes that thing again whenever I think about my fears
That hard big lump stuck in my throat right before the tears
I can’t explain this emotion its things are too hard to say
I wish it could be as clear as the light of day
But then that’s Love or something like it…excessive complications
Misunderstandings stress and screwed up situations

Now the most essential voice my voice that has already been left confused
It says you want to love me but it’s afraid my heart will be abused and I’ll be used
By you just another docile girl you caught despite her intense struggle with you she’ll be remembered as nothing more than just a non-challenging addition
Just a conquered piece of meat to add to your collection
And I’ll be used and left in pain, again…drenched alone in the rain
Withering away like my sanity…the most parts of my mind is insane
I can feel your fingers upon me gently strumming my pain; I’m divided down several lanes
I’m being swallowed by what I feel from you I feel so foolish about this
Being vulnerable and passive with every passionate Kiss

But so far:
You’re just so good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you
You be like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much
My last love has arrived, I thank God I’m alive
Your just too good to be true, Can’t take my eyes off of you
Caught in the way that I stare, there’s nothing else to compare
The sight of you makes me weak; there are no other words left to speak
Lets me feel like I feel, Please let me know that it’s real
Your just too good to be true can’t take my eyes off of you!


..........................................
Sigh…sigh…sigh, there’s nothing left to explain
Any questions just read the poem again…
I’m dieing, slowly, painlessly for now, but surely
I’ve made up my mind to define my own destiny
So I’ll die, no more thoughts I won’t cry
I manage a last gasp as my ears open wide


Written By Kristal Alexander