Will Tiger EVER Get out the Woods?

Good morning to all Players, wanna be players, pimps, Plastic pimps and posers out dey!

Now fellas, i've got some fresh game to bring to the table.
See, this player here, he don't drive a Cadillac!
He don't got a perm!
...makes me wonder we let him into the pimp legion of doom.


Well lets hear his story:
Tiger is an American professional golfer whose achievements rank him as the most successful professional golfer. Hands down! PGA (Professional Golf Association)

• PGA Money Leader - 9 Times
• PGA Player of the Year - 10 Times
• PGA Tour Player of the Year - 10 Times

His last award, the "Celebrity Polygamy Player of the year" award is awkwardly debatable. Lets review the facts:

It all went downhill from November 25th when a Supermarket tabloid called the National Enquirer published a story claiming that woods had an extramarital affair with a nightclub manager. On November 26th Mr. Tiger Woods crashed his car; tabloids said he was cuddled with a "prostitute" in the wreckage of his Escalade; Mr. Woods however maintained his reserve and denied these 'frivolous' allegations. Strangely however, Woods ducked his OWN charity golf tournament, the Chevron World Challenge.
All this said, Tiger Woods still had all his endorsements intact, his wife still by his side and as far as the public was concerned he was still very much in the people's golfer. All was well in Tiger-ville until the BITCH Jaimee Grubbs publicly claimed in the US weekly that she had a two and a half year affair with Woods.
1st thing I can't understand! So let me get this straight, for two years of your life you quietly sneak around with this man, and you well know he has a wife. Then you are more vex than him and go sell him for 30 pieces of silver to a tabloid magazine! * SMH! SOYH!
Then, in typical fashion, monkey see monkey do and girls from all over the globe come for a piece of the spot light.
Yesterday, Tiger Woods broke his "silence" and issued and official apology. 1st time he has done this verbally, and he reiterated his earnest desire to salvage his marriage.

Now as I have told some friends yesterday, I understand that public image is important, because "tiger woods" is a brand. So Woods must be conservative in all his actions to preserve his endorsements and public image. But what has troubled me into writing this post is SINCE WHEN its public concern where woods sticks his wood? Concern is the operative word in that sentence. Are all our lives so devoid of flavor that it excites us when a public figure has a maury show dilema? I can understand the media's natural attempts at blowing the entire thing as big as possible. But why can't tiger, issue his statement, cry his tears and continue to his life?
What about the Mr Manning approach? "no comment" then issue an apology to the press and continue the next day most normal in parliament!
I'm saying, tiger boy, we the people don't love you because you are a good husband. We love you because u play the best golf! Don't stop playing ya golf boy! Find the strength and keep golfing!
If the wolf she-bitch from boondocks sells you out don't worry! Me and a pimp named slick back got your back!

Now before my gf hits me with a pot spoon or decides not to cook my dinner: i am in no way condoning infidelity in any form. What i am telling the entire world is... DOH BEAT UP! how many celebrities were happily married and after a similar incident decided they were gay! Just because tiger woods has now faced reality and has realized he is a pimp doesn't mean he should be chastised out of his golf career! Pimping is nothing but an alternate lifestyle! What if Tiger woods was born so!? Who are you to judge him?

I must commend fellow blogger afrobella so expressing my exact sentiments. Tiger Woods is unfaithful. SO WHAT? Let the man breathe and continue golfing! How much non-news are we going to take before someone sits up and says something...

Well no more! We here at the Pimp Legion of Doom are here to represent you boy Tiger! It hurts my heart to see some scandal escalate like this and influence you to stop golfing. Please, let all these hypocritical people "squeeze and sprinkle to sour dem" and who doh like it, lie down by it!

We as the EDUCATED public should clamor for some real news, people are dying in Haiti and I turn on my TV to see headlines about Tiger Woods says sorry, but the people of Australia don't believe its genuine. W T F!

In closing, as I indicated, Tiger, we have your back. Take that golf club you always use and play some golf. It is for this reason, that we have decided to let you into the pimp legion of doom.

Ps. Entire thing written from my phone while in a moving vehicle. Ignore spelling errors. Pics(of our newest member- tiger himself), video(of a pimp named slick back giving tiger advice)

*SMH - Shakes My Head | SOYH - Shame On You Hoe

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We have some closing words from our mentor and Honorary member of the Pimp Legion of DOOM:
A Pimp Named Slick Back